


How Much?

by roseforthethorns



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Angst, Loss, M/M, MCD, Not Happy, Pain, inability to communicate, pushing away, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 12:18:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11805873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseforthethorns/pseuds/roseforthethorns
Summary: When is the loss too much?





	How Much?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.

_ How much heartbreak can one person endure before they give up? Before the grief is too crushing to keep pushing through? Until they surrender all hope entirely? _

_ He’d snapped at Q. It played over and over in his head like an exercise in cinema. He saw it from every angle, heard his inflection. He’d done what he did best and now… _

***

The room has a metallic odor to it. James can taste it as he moves through Q-branch. He knows what he would see if more than the emergency lights were on. The attack had been precise, orchestrated to have him out of the way and leave nothing for him to return to. His feet travel the familiar path to Q’s office; the door’s been melted.

Q is laying over his desk with a gun in his hand and a hole in his head. The smell is worse in here, and seeing it, really seeing it, James hears his heart shatter.

He still checks for a pulse, just in case a miracle happened. He still picks up Q and lays him down on the sofa; he’s so light. Q’s green eyes are glassy and unseeing. His mouth is slack. He’s gone.

James isn’t sure when his vision blurs or how he possibly has tears left to shed, but they begin to fall. Once again he’d lost someone he cared about. Someone he loved.

He realizes it as he kneels beside Q’s corpse. He’d loved him. He does love him. He loves him still, and his chest hurts so much that he doesn’t want to exist anymore. James brushes his fingertips over Q’s cold lips.

“I’m sorry… I should have… you know I can’t communicate well. I cocked it up again. And it finally cost me everything.”

_ When is it enough? How long can one survive with everything taken again and again and again? _

There’s a few bullets left in his gun. He’s going to take them all down, and then he’s going to follow. Six ends with him. This ends now. Forever.

***

_ “We need to talk about whether you’re going to give up the honeypot missions. _

_ “Why? It’s part of the job.” _

_ “James, it’s an optional part and you know it. You don’t have to sleep with someone to get the information you need.” _

_ “I don’t always-” _

_ “You do. Don’t lie to me.” Q didn’t look at him as he spoke. “I think you like it. That you’re not satisfied with me. That I can’t give you what you want.” _

_ “What are you saying Q?” _

_ “I’m saying you’re being selfish.” _

_ “Fine then. I guess I’m selfish.” _

_ James turned and left for Six without looking back. _

 

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews and comments welcome.


End file.
